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Quinn: I want to be a professional prognosticator

If somebody said they’d pay me to work at the job of my dreams, that profession would be “futurist.”

Wouldn’t it be fun if you could wake up every day, and spend your hours thinking about a future world? What would it look like?

And here’s the best part: the further into the future you predict, the less likely people will remember what you said 20 or 30 years before!

However, if you predicted tomorrow – or next month – and you got it wrong, you’d have to explain yourself. And I hate to explain myself, especially to my wife. So here are thoughts on what we might see two or three decades from now:

  1. We will drive flying cars. Unfortunately, I will need to trade my current one, because the only time it’s been off the ground was the time it got towed.
  2. We will no longer use the terms of address Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Ms. Instead, we will just greet everybody with the words “Hey, human.”
  3. We will combine polo and water polo, and pay big money to watch swimming horses compete.
  4. Dog racing will require each animal to have a jockey. Those riders will be very tiny, like maybe a hamster or squirrel.
  5. When teeth get cavities, they will light up to remind us to visit the dentist. In the meantime, molars will make great nightlights.
  6. Dogs will learn to talk. They will demand cars with permanently open windows.
  7. Some people who bought tiny houses will upgrade by building an attached garage twice the size of the house.
  8. Humans will have the option of eating good food or taking a daily nutritional supplement. 130% of them will choose food.
  9. Some people will work downtown. Some people will work at home. And a few people will work in outer space, but commuting time will be much longer.

Rix Quinn is the author of Flaky Fables, a syndicated column. Please ask Rix anything…the weirder, the better. E-mail your questions to rix@rixquinn.com.

 

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